Shit birthday 

So today’s my birthday I’m 35 my family got an eviction notice a few weeks ago because they want to renovate our apartment building so will be moving all day I work a 7 hour shift I have no real friends speak of my mom and my cousin are the closest thing to best friends I got and they remembered me at midnight which was cool this morning I woke up to get ready for work my little brother calls me so I can wake up his wife doesn’t wish me happy birthday walks in the door also doesn’t match me happy birthday either now I don’t expect much from him but it would have been nice


I now realize that I’m never going to be happy again not at home not at work not anywhere and I just need to be okay with that

Fuck you 

every single one of you treat me like s*** treats me like you own me treat me like I’m not a real person and I’m done I’m locking my feelings so you will not be able to get to them I am alone and that’s the way it has to be to keep me from getting hurt by you

Day 3

Absolutely nothing is better I’m so extremely miserable. I think maybe everyone around me hates me or just doesn’t care. All they see is a fat ugly joke it’s so easy for them to make fun of me. The only thing I’m good for is chores. I’m unattractive Cinderella only difference is this Cinderella doesn’t get her ball or her prince.

Day 2

Got some good news today I got my second job at the Home Depot bad news absolutely none my family members gave a rat’s tail. Now I’m stuck home fixing dinner for the whole lot and I couldn’t even listen to my music because my little brother demanded I didn’t. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t drop everything and head to Portland

First blog ever

Have never done this before so bear with me. I’m feeling like no one cares no one listens and no one is there for me. You see I live with or live nearby a great deal of family and yes they all have their own problems and I understand that but You see I get these mind-numbing stabbing pains in my head and I get dizzy but I haven’t made it to the doctor yet because I’ve been so busy at work or helping my family especially my newly pregnant sister-in-law so I  almost fell well making dinner for everybody tonight and instead of seeing if I was okay they walked around me continue their conversations made no effort whatsoever and I know what you’re thinking one time no big deal but this is an ongoing problem I’m always the last one to know anything everyone expects me to be there for everyone else but no one’s ever there for me none of my friends my friends who come to me with every little problem but they won’t listen to mine I thought friendship was a give and take. I wish I could just move away start fresh new name new state new everything but I know people need me here my mom needs me so I guess I just need to suck it up keep my mouth shut and hope for a better day